You can now find Capital Mom at www.capitalmom.ca

Monday, November 29, 2010

Bosom buddies

The myth of the best friend was planted early with me. The one true friend. The only one you will need.

I lay the blame squarely on the shoulders of a certain red haired young lady. Anne. With an "e". She may not have had a family, she may have had to convince an initially reluctant family to be hers, but Anne of Green Gables always had her Diana. Always together, fighting off the mean girls. Always forgiven, even when drunk off of raspberry cordial. It didn't matter what happened, they always came back to each other. Bosom buddies.

I had to learn that it isn't easy to find a friend like that. One friend who will be everything to you. I kept looking, thinking that my Diana was just across the next field or in the next classroom.

Finally I had to learn that no one person can be everything to you. I stopped looking for her. And then I became a better and more thankful friend to the ones I already had.

*

I don't want to be your friend anymore I hear her yell, one of the teachables she has brought home from kindergarten. Her friend starts to cry and runs away, devastated that my girl is going to stop being her friend. I pause for a moment before making my way across the park to where the girl stands on the play structure. I think about all the things I want to tell her.

It's hard to find good friends I would say. Don't throw this one away so easily.

It isn't true I would say. Don't think that someone else will quickly take her place.

Be careful what you say I would say. Don't start saying things you don't mean to your friends. They will believe you and then you can never take them back.

When I finally reach her I speak to her in my stern voice. I tell her that it isn't nice to say I don't want to be your friend anymore. I remind her that she made her friend cry. I ask her how she thinks her friend feels. I ask her how she would feel.

*

He laughs as he tries to gets the story out, standing with our friend in the kitchen.

The girls were playing he starts. And your daughter he looks at our friend, yelled at the girl. "You aren't my friend anymore!"

She gets that from daycare... our friend begins to explains.

Oh no I groaned. What did she do?

She yelled right back. "You can't stop being my friend!"

*

She might not find her one true friend. No Diana, no bosom buddy. But I take great delight in knowing she recognizes a good friend when she sees one. And that she won't let her go.

7 comments:

  1. I love this. Anne of Green Gables is one of my favorites!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lightbulb moment - it WAS Anne who planted that idea for me too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Julia Me too. Despite my bad mouthing her. :-)

    @Laura Glad I am not the only one!

    ReplyDelete
  4. well my friend... being the mom in the kitchen you just made me cry with this... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. As we change and evolve our friendships do to. The myth of the best friend is hard to overcome: we expect so much of ourselves and others and are bound to fail.

    Its amazing how our own struggles parallel those of our children :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Brie, how many times can I tell you how much I love your writing. This story made me sigh, for all the friends I threw away, for the ones I still have and for the new ones I am getting to know better :) Hugs!

    ReplyDelete