I never had a nickname. My name is short enough, only four letters, and doesn't lend itself easily to a nickname. Or so I would tell myself while secretly wanting one.
During my first pregnancy I thought a lot about names. I thought a lot about names that had commonly known nicknames. We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl, but I was pretty sure I wanted my kid to have a nickname.
The girl was named in the hospital room. Thankfully she was a girl because we didn't have any boy names we liked. We hadn't settled on a girl's name, and the husband was ready to have a discussion, but I knew. And so I named her.
From the beginning it felt strange to call her by her name. It seemed so long for such a small child. When I would hold her in my arms I would call her everything but her name. Whispered terms of endearment. Laughing silly words. Always coming back to her nickname.
From the time she could talk she called herself by her nickname. She would speak about herself in the third person. She would introduce herself to others that way. When the girl was not yet two and she met another little girl with the same name, she just called her MoreNickname. She still calls her that.
The nickname was who the girl saw herself as being. It is who we see her as too. Until I want her to stop jumping on your brother and listen to me! Then I trot out her full name and repeat it loudly in my sternest voice.
The boy wasn't named when we left the hospital. Thinking, but not knowing, we would have another girl we had decided on a girl's name but not a boy's name. We discussed a few. We had a preference. It wasn't until we were home and the girl said her brother's name that we were sure.
The boy's name is longer then mine but shorter then the girl's. It has a common abbreviation that I love, despite the fact that it is also becoming a popular girl's name. To us the boy is both this full name and his nickname. He still doesn't call himself by either. He is just me.
I never had a nickname. I have one now. Another four letter word. A word that is shouted. A word that is filled with demands and pleading. A word that is shared with countless other. I love it.