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Monday, July 19, 2010

Work

I work hard every day, I just don't get paid for it. Not in money anyway. My currency is hugs and kisses, tears and tantrums. There are days where I feel as rich as the Queen of England and days where I my overdraft has an overdraft. It can be an unstable economy with my two kids. The 1980s boom with its big shoulder pads can quickly morf into the recession of the early 1990s, grunge skaters and all.

And yet I love it.

I have decided that being a stay at home mom is better then my last paid job. At least now I love the person screaming at me. Somehow yelling in much more forgivable in a three year old then a forty year old. Even lying is more forgivable in an almost four year old who is really just hoping that if she says it out loud it will become the truth. That doesn't work so well when you are pretending to have met with your clients or written a report.

I would happily continue to manage my two kids day in and day out, or more accurately, let them manage me, but I can see the end coming. I am supposed to return to work in the fall. That's what the paper work says anyway. I have a small reprieve given that I will be going back to a new job, one that I haven't found yet. I am filled with a bit of joy that my return could be delayed, but the joy is offset by the work that will be involved in looking for a new job.

I occasionally fantasize about chucking it all and never going back to work, but a plan is a plan and we have one of those. My turn at home is almost up and the husband's is about to begin. When I go back to work he will be taking leave for two years until the boy starts kindergarten. Providing we don't run out of money of coarse.

I am excited for the husband. He was at home with the girl for a year between my maternity leaves with both kids. It was good for him to understand what it was like to be the primary caregiver. It was good for the girl to spend so much time with her dad. It was good, I know that.

But the thought of it makes me sad. Sad for the moments I will miss. The firsts and the seconds and even the twelfths.

It will be fine. I will be fine. I will get used to it. And I will enjoy the kisses and hugs, tears and tantrums while I can.

7 comments:

  1. I think it's great that you are sharing and that your husband is interested in being home. But I also sympathize, going back is hard. You'll do well and you'll all adapt, but it will definitely be different.

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  2. Lovely post. It's great that your husband has the chance to spend some time at home too, but so hard for you. Being a SAHM is the hardest job I've ever had, but the most rewarding - by a country mile.

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  3. my time is almost up as well. i'm still deciding how I feel.

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  4. I didn't realize you were going back to work again soon too. Good luck on the job hunt and so wonderful that you have it worked out in your family that your husband will be home with the kids for the next two years. It's just not doable for us so I'm envious there! - Though I think I will plan ahead as much as possible for the next child so we can take a bit more than the year between us.

    And thanks for your kind words on my "return to work post". Today was okay but tiring. By two I was wondering if there was anyway I could sneak a nap in - but I suspect that would have been seen as unprofessional... It was nice to see my colleagues again though.

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  5. So soon??!!! Will you continue to write such eloquence? Or will the husband be "filling in" on some days? Because even though you won't be there most of the day, you will continue to be...everything, I guess. As you can see..I am having a hard time expressing how I FEEL...so I can't even imagine how YOU feel...gah!! I too think it is great for the husband to "get his turn" I wish we could afford to do that, but even if we could, I am not sure how my husband would do it...he is definitely more of an "old school dad"...go to work spend some time with the family watch the news..he reminds me of my dad..HA! I know that this will work for you, so be nervous..but don't be worried..you won't miss too much, they will tell you ALL about their day and be SUPER EXCITED everytime you come home!! Good Luck with the job hunt..make sure it is a good one!! :D

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  6. Fantastic that you are sharing. My husband has wondered what it would be like had he had a similar opportunity. We toyed with it, alas, his career is not one that is that amenable to a leave of absence. So good for you both for taking the time you need with your children.

    I suspect, as hard as it will be, and as much as you will definitely miss them, that there will be a few wonderful things you will love about going back. I'll look forward to reading all about it.

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  7. I'm curious how you will feel when you are back at work and your husband is at home. We did the very same thing. I took one year of mat leave with each of my girls, then when I went back to work after the second one, hubby stayed home for almost 3 years. He was an outstanding Stay-At-Home-Dad and it worked really well. The quality of life was good in that he could do a lot of household chores that we didn't then have to cram into weekends. I was so grateful that he could be home. And yet if I am completely honest with myself, I am also a bit resentful. Why couldn't I have been the one to stay home. I'm not kidding myself because I know that the parent at home has a much harder job, but still, I would have liked it to be me.

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