I hate that word.
It is the word I feel like I should say when people ask me how are you? The word that I think people want to hear from me instead of the truth. A pretending word.
It implies that everything is alright. Everything is going along as expected, as hoped, according to some plan.
I hate it, but I say it. I say it when good is too much of a lie, but I don't want to share my reality with the person asking. I don't want to tell them that I'm tired and impatient and frustrated and worn out.
Maybe I already told them all of that yesterday and I don't want to have to say it all again. Maybe I don't want the judgments that will come with my truth, even if it is only a flicker I imagine in their eyes.
I am not depressed. I am not unhappy with my life. I do see the beauty and joy in the everyday.
I love my family.
But I am not always fine.