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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Coming home

I had a day to myself. A whole day. I left the house at 8:30am and came back home at 5:30pm. In that time I went shopping for the kids at a consignment sale, met some friends for coffee and then lunch, bought myself two pairs of desperately needed shoes, ran into some more friends for tea and then then headed back to the consignment sale to help pack up and pick up my clothes that hadn't sold.

It was a lovely day. A wonderful day.

Then I came home. I walked through the door with two crying kids I had had to pick up and carry out of the park. One was crying because she wanted to pee by a tree and I wouldn't let her and the other was crying because he wanted to keep playing on the slide and I wouldn't let him.

I walked into the house and felt defeated. Beyond the tear-streaked faces of my children a mess of epic proportions confronted me. The floors were strewn with toys and clothes and little particles of food. No surface was left uncluttered. (To be fair, it didn't look that different from how it was when I left this morning.)

I wish I could have turned around and walked back out of the house. Back to a world of lounging in the sun while sipping a latte and strolling through quiet streets alone.

I didn't. Instead I muddled through the best I could. And wondered if this is how the husband feels when he comes home every evening.


  1. When the other parent comes home, you mean.

    I think the kids act up for us because they know they can. In a way, it's safe to do so. When Dad comes home, it's more of a change.

    The whole "won't bend to our will" is part of what makes little kids human. Infuriating as it is.

  2. Thank you - I think I needed that little thought hammered into my head. My DH probably feels just like that when he comes home from work. I'm going to try and make some changes.

  3. I hope your day alone helped you feel a bit recharged? Sometimes when I start to feel defeated, I just have to laugh. Laugh at the hilarity of the tantrum being thrown about the wrong pull-up, or the misplaced blankie. Sometimes I give the husband a look across all the chaos and we both smile, and I know we're both thinking the same thing - having kids seemed like a good idea at the time! ;)

  4. Glad you got a day out to be a woman, rather than always a mom.
    It sucks that you felt defeated and deflated when you got home. You're a wonderful mother, though, and didn't let that stop you. :)
    Here's to more days out alone in the future.

  5. Ugh, I know that feeling. You're on your way home after a fantastic day away and looking forward to being back with your wonderful family. You think about how they will be happy to see you, hug you and ask how your day was. Back to reality. They see you, swarm you and whine to you. It's overwhelming. But we get over it. The day away was still worth it (usually).

  6. I'm so sorry for you, but I know just how that feels. I've tried to let it go, the disasters I'm prone to coming home to. Not always easy. And I don't for one second think it's the same when they come home. In my house, he usually comes home to a cooked dinner and clean house...though not always.

  7. I think that sometimes we think being away for that day will make us feel so much better that we won't feel so overwhelmed when we get back. But sometimes I think time away is the same as more sleep. When you're really sleep deprived you think "if I just got 6 hours straight, just once, I would feel so much better" and instead your body is like "OMG. That was so awesome. Keep doing it. What do you mean you aren't going to keep doing it? I hate you! I PUNISH you by making you feel just as bad as when you slept in 10 minute chunks." or you know, something like that ;)

    Anyways, it's great that you got away. It's nice and important. But I know how it feels to walk back in after it's all done and get immediately thrown back into the crazy and feel like you didn't get the break at all. It won't last forever.

  8. aww no fun to come home like that.

  9. I'm glad you enjoyed your day, although it's too bad your homecoming wasn't so hot. I think every mom has had homecomings like that. Not fun. But still, the getting away is so worth it.