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Saturday, March 6, 2010


It had been years since I'd last seen her. She heard my friend call my name across the room and so she called it too.

How are you? she asked.

Good, I said. How are you?

Good, she said. I heard you had another baby.

Yes, I said and told her about the girl and the boy. How are your kids? I asked.

Good, she said and told me about her two girls.

Are you back at work? she asked.

No, I said. I am still on leave. Are you back at work? I asked.

No, she said. I am still on leave.

We talked some more and then said goodbye.

She looked the same. Older, but the same. I look the same too. Older, but the same.

I remember when she told me she was pregnant. I was so happy for her. She seems happy now.

I was happy being her friend. I wish she had been happy being mine. I wish I could have been the kind of friend she wanted. She decided I wasn't. In the end, she turned out not to be the kind of friend I wanted either.


  1. I've been there. And it wasn't easy. But I feel exactly as you do now. You are so good at describing the feeling of it. I always described it like a break up, being broken up with. But because she was a friend she never told me, she just went away.

  2. I've learned that when your life moves on friendships are either strong enough to move with you or their left behind. Nonetheless breaking up is always hard to do.

  3. That's happened to me before. It's sad to lose a relationship. There are women from long-ago friendships that I miss, who probably don't miss me (and vice versa, I'm sure). This post brought some of those lost friendships to mind...

  4. Funny we were just talking about this the other day at @acraftymom's. It is hard when it's one sided... but on the bright side it means you have more of yourself to give to all your NEW friendships :)

  5. I was broken up with once and it was awful. But in the end, really, it was for the best.
    And *I* really like being your friend :)

  6. It's hard when friendships end. I just unfollowed an old roommate on Twitter who hadn't followed me back, realizing I had to just let it go already. But there's a part of me that found it surprisingly difficult, wishing it could have been different.

  7. Me too actually - broken up with once - but oddly enough it does turn out that she really wasn't the kind of friend I wanted either.
    still hurts to think on it though.
    I love your honesty and simplicity.

  8. I can't even wrap my head around someone not wanting to be your friend . . . her loss, for sure. I have been there too. I think as we get older things change, people change, and often having children really, really changes us.

  9. I once had a friend who I had to break it off with, not because I didn't love her, because I did. She was dear to me. I had to break it off because I didn't like who I was when I was with her. Our friendship was, in the words of Oprah "toxic." It was so hard, but it was right. I think though, that what Shannon says is right, life changes us, changes our friendships and what we need from them. But I'm willing to bet that in this case, it's her loss because you are a beautiful person.

  10. As others have said it's her loss. Some people are just strange, no answers to their behaviour. :0(