He looks at me and tilts his head to his right. Aaangh! he says lowering his ear down to touch his shoulder. In case I wasn't listening he raises his head and then tilts it again. Do you want to nurse? I ask him from where I am sitting on the couch. Ye-ah! he yells.
Somehow tilting his head has become the boy's way of indicating that he wants to breastfeed. Most likely it is an evolution from when he would crawl into my lap and then flop sideways in my arms to get into the optimum position. The sideways motion has remained, but now it is his head tilting sideways that lets me know what he wants. I could probably teach him a sign, or even a word, for breastfeeding but I have never got around to it. I never thought I'd need to.
I told myself I would breastfeed the boy until he was the same age as the girl when I weaned her. When the girl was a year old I headed back to work. Shortly after that I found myself feeling tired and irritated when it came time to breastfeed, so I decided to stop offering unless she asked. She didn't ask and that was that. She was weaned at thirteen months.
The boy is now eighteen months old. I am still home with him and I wonder if that makes a difference. Breastfeeding is an easy and comforting thing he likes to do before his nap and bedtime so we do it. He asks and I don't say no. Sometimes he asks at other time during the day. I usually say yes if we are at home.
I think about weaning him. Then I think about how much he will hate that and how much I will hate fighting him about it. I told myself I would do it when we moved him to a toddler bed. I tell myself that I will do it when his last two teeth come in. I tell myself many things.
Until then he keeps looking at me and tilting his head.