Nothing starts the day like a confrontation with a stranger.
Between dropping the girl at school and going to playgroup with the boy, I stopped at the local grocery store. I probably should have divined that the visit was going to be a strange one after the second person commented on how cute my daughter was. He really does look like a boy. Even when he isn't in his blue snowsuit.
Standing in the cracker aisle I opened up a box of Ritz crackers as part of my strategy to distract the boy and finish up my grocery shopping. An older man walked past me, stopped and turned back towards me.
You shouldn't be doing that, he said. It's illegal to open the food in the store.
What? I asked I always open a box of crackers when I shop. That's how I get my groceries done.
I'm not shoplifting! I always pay for everything.
It's shoplifting if you open it in the store. You could get arrested for that.
I'm not going to get arrested.
The police could arrest you for that.
Are the cops going to come? Are you going to call them?
I could call them.
Bring it on! I said walking away from him. Bring it on!
I finished my shopping, still shocked and enraged about my encounter. When I saw that he was at one of the two open checkouts, the other being the one to eight item check out and not wanting to give the store any other reason to call of the cops on me, I skulked at the back of the store until he was done.
I don't shoplift. At least not until they invent a sleep store. Then I will be buying, or even stealing, sleep by the bucketful.