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Sunday, November 22, 2009

The end. Period.

Last time I was waiting for it.
Excited to start trying to add to our family.
To give the girl a brother or sister.
Just like last time my period returned
fourteen months after a baby was born.

Only my third period in the last four years.

Now it is back.
Back for good.
Back to stay.
Back until another life
change takes it away.

With its return I mark the
end of my childbearing years.
No more pregnancies
no more births
no more newborns.
I can feel myself moving
through
past
beyond
the world of babies into life with kids
teens
young adults.
All that awaits us.
I don't morn.

Every month for over twenty years
my period was a constant.
Sometimes heavy.
Cramps.
Often accompanied by intense emotions
tears
exhaustion.
Like my pregnancies,
but without the nausea and vomiting.
And without a baby at the end.

It is as if the pause button has been released and
my body is returning to itself.
But now I am different.
I had learnt to manage
cope
with the rollercoaster my period
created each month.
I hope I can again.

3 comments:

  1. In a 8 year period, I had my period about five times. Now that it has been consistent, since Wyatt was 13 months old too - I am surprise by it, almost every time, like 'what is this?'

    Funny how we forget, funny how we are able to move forward.

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  2. Something profound and big, knowing you are "done" building your family.

    I hope you manage to tame that pesky period ... she can be quite the beast.

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  3. Sad to see it end, in a way. Isn't it?

    I hope that like me, the periods are a lot lighter and easier than they were before. Mine were... small payoff.

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