I startle easily. I am the person that jumps and screams when a dog jumps in front of me suddenly or the bad guy comes back from the dead in a movie. I shriek and my mind stops working. I panic when I am in an unexpected situation that I don't know how to deal with.
Ironically, my friend and I were sitting at her house talking about just this. How we freak out when startled. The situations that cause us to lose our calm. Then the boy got his fingers tangled up in the toy basketball hoop, tried to step backwards to free himself, pulled the hoop onto himself and fell face first onto a toy saw. I screamed (or maybe I swore, I can't remember) and picked him up. I was comforting him when my friend noticed that he was bleeding.
I do not do well with blood. I do not do well with a screaming baby with blood smeared across his forehead. Or a baby who has cut his head on a plastic toy saw. Apparently neither does he.
Luckily my friend kept her cool. I nursed the boy while she wiped at the blood. I can no longer remember the order of events but at some point I called the husband for the pediatrician's number, left them a message, nursed the boy while my friend put gauze on his forehead, tried to get him down for a nap at her house as a means to calm the now overtired, inconsolable baby and then headed home with him shoeless and coat less in the stroller.
I left the girl at my friend's house. I didn't even say goodbye. I don't think she'll care. She is probably in heaven to be with her friend and the biggest tv she has ever seen.
I finally got the boy to sleep in his own bed. Over the monitor I can hear his breath catching in a little sob as he sleeps. But he is sleeping.
The bleeding had stopped by the time we had left my friend's house. The doctor's office said to take him to the ER if stitches were needed. I am going to wait until he wakes up and then see how everything looks. I will clean off the cut and see if it is still bleeding. It looked like the cut was on the surface on the skin. I am hoping that will still be the case after a closer look.
I suck at stuff like this. Right now I am sitting on the couch still shaken. Trying to calm myself.
I am also feeling gratefully for this blog and the ability to write out my feelings. Thankful for all your comments on my last post. Obviously I do need this outlet. More than I might always remember.
I am also so, so grateful to my friend. I don't know what I would do without her sometimes. In the last few months she has become such an integral part of my days. Having her to talk to in a real gift. I am going to have to get her a thank you, but in case she is reading this I want to thank you now. Thank you.